The value of yes!

Oh heroo!! It’s been a while. So glad I’ve finally found some time to be blogging again.

In the past few months I’ve been trying, and failing, hard not to say “I don’t have time..”, for example to write this blog. I’d much rather say “I don’t prioritize writing this blog”, because basically it should come down to me not wanting to spend my time on it. I’m struggling. Sometimes you feel like you just HAVE to accept an invite, which results in skipping on writing that blog. Sometimes I ultimately cancel the appointment, where I should have said “no” in the first place.

Recently I read this article by Ernest-Jan Pfauth that explains some rules on how “not to be busy”. It poses that you need not accept an invitation because it is socially accepted and to always ask for time to consider the invite. Does an invitation not give you a “Hell Yeah!” vibe, don’t accept it, because it will make you regret it once the date is nearing. I’ve always found it very hard to do the socially unaccepted; even when it is something I’d really like to do. 

I feel pressure to need to be having a valid reason (like another appointment) for not accepting an invite, whereas sometimes it “not feeling right” should just be enough. I’m struggling, because not accepting an invite, because “it doesn’t feel right” seems very selfish to me. I'm afraid to be offensive or people thinking I'm not interested in them. Or maybe I'm even more afraid of people not liking me anymore when I don't accept the invite. Struggles! But maybe accepting the invite is even more selfish? Does the inviter really want me to be there wishing I was somewhere else? One of the reader comments on the article stated: “Say “no” more often, because it upgrades the value of “yes””. I think this might be my new mantra!

How do you manage your time, guarding you get to do what you love doing most? How do you deal with your struggles?